OK, whilst writing my last post I went off on a bit of a tangent and started talking about a very important personal topic. I decided perhaps it should have it’s own post and cut it out, expecting it to stay on my clipboard to just paste into a new post. Without thinking I pressed “CTRL + X” later on to move some text around – ERROR! So now I’ve lost it all by copying something else. Whoopsie-daisy. 😦
So now, from scratch. There’s no delicate way of saying this, I guess. I have an eating disorder. Bulimia, to be exact. I was trying to keep it out of this blog for several reasons:
- I want this to be a healthy living blog. Bulimia ain’t healthy.
- It’s not a topic many people chose to read about. It ain’t pretty.
- I think of it as a shameful secret – like many people suffering from this disorder & many of the general public. It’s considered disgusting, a greedy character-flaw. I am ashamed.
Allow me to elaborate…
I am attempting to recover from this. I have had periods of recovery and relapse over 9 years. With this blog, I would rather just try and focus on food as an enjoyable means of nourishing myself rather than giving any credit to the battle I have with it. I feel that focusing on trying to overcome food as an ‘enemy’ will turn this into a competition of ME vs. BULIMIA. And that’s not a competition I can guarantee to win, and it’s not really going to make for good reading.
As such, I will not be posting any details in my blog. I may talk about the emotional aspects of what I eat, but behaviours, triggers etc. – there is no place for them here. The items of food that I will post are items that I eat because they are good for me and that I intend to keep long enough to do me good! I will try my hardest not to be hypocritical and prattle on about the benefits and the deliciousness of my food… only to dispose of it soon after. My last post is an exception, but hopefully the first and last exception. It prompted this post because I want to be honest with myself and with my readers. I expect there will be times when I slip up and I will be honest about them. But one of the main reasons I have this blog is to stay mindful of my eating and steer it in a healthy direction… so my slip ups become fewer and further between.
I hope I do not offend anyone. I hope I do not disgust anyone. I certainly hope not to trigger anyone. I don’t intend it to be a topic that comes up often, but if you have questions I am happy to talk about it, please just ask.
Thank you. 🙂