A Truth About Me

OK, whilst writing my last post I went off on a bit of a tangent and started talking about a very important personal topic. I decided perhaps it should have it’s own post and cut it out, expecting it to stay on my clipboard to just paste into a new post. Without thinking I pressed “CTRL + X” later on to move some text around – ERROR! So now I’ve lost it all by copying something else. Whoopsie-daisy. 😦

So now, from scratch. There’s no delicate way of saying this, I guess. I have an eating disorder. Bulimia, to be exact. I was trying to keep it out of this blog for several reasons:

  • I want this to be a healthy living blog. Bulimia ain’t healthy.
  • It’s not a topic many people chose to read about. It ain’t pretty.
  • I think of it as a shameful secret – like many people suffering from this disorder & many of the general public. It’s considered disgusting, a greedy character-flaw. I am ashamed.

Allow me to elaborate…

I am attempting to recover from this. I have had periods of  recovery and relapse over 9 years. With this blog, I would rather just try and focus on food as an enjoyable means of nourishing myself rather than giving any credit to the battle I have with it. I feel that focusing on trying to overcome food as an ‘enemy’ will turn this into a competition of ME vs. BULIMIA. And that’s not a competition I can guarantee to win, and it’s not really going to make for good reading.

As such, I will not be posting any details in my blog. I may talk about the emotional aspects of what I eat, but behaviours, triggers etc. – there is no place for them here. The items of food that I will post are items that I eat because they are good for me and that I intend to keep long enough to do me good! I will try my hardest not to be hypocritical and prattle on about the benefits and the deliciousness of my food… only to dispose of it soon after. My last post is an exception, but hopefully the first and last exception. It prompted this post because I want to be honest with myself and with my readers. I expect there will be times when I slip up and I will be honest about them. But one of the main reasons I have this blog is to stay mindful of my eating and steer it in a healthy direction… so my slip ups become fewer and further between.

I hope I do not offend anyone. I hope I do not disgust anyone. I certainly hope not to trigger anyone. I don’t intend it to be a topic that comes up often, but if you have questions I am happy to talk about it, please just ask.

Thank you. 🙂

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7 Responses to A Truth About Me

  1. Pingback: We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto! | sparklingsnowflake

  2. Courtney says:

    Hi there 🙂

    It’s good that you opened up about your eating disorder- why blog if your hiding something? I hope you find that sharing things like this can be very helpful in the healing process, and you will help others too. I am a recovered (strange to say that!) anorexic myself and I know that healthy living blogs helped me remember what “normal eating” is. 🙂 Peace,

    • Thank you for checking out my blog, and for the kind response 🙂
      It’s so great to hear that you’ve recovered and that you found healthy living blogs helpful. It can be such a struggle to know what ‘normal’ is after so long living wrapped up in disorder. What inspired you to start blogging?

  3. I think it’s great you’re being so open about this – but even moreso, I love that you’re not going to allow bulimia to steal the stage. I’ve seen some blogs where post after post is devoted to their disorder – but I feel like that is just fueling the ED rather than attempting to overcome it. Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against blogs in which people post about their struggles – I think it’s good to have an outlet such as this. But there is a point where it’s just too much focus on the ED, and not enough focus on trying to get better. You sound like you’ve got your head in the right place, just know that your devoted readers will never judge you for what you chose to post about, and are here for you if you ever need help through a struggle 🙂

    • Thank you for replying, and for your reassurance and support! 🙂
      I certainly see where you’re coming from – I’ve seen many blogs that I would suspect are more an extension of the ED focusing the obsession rather than working to overcome it. Hopefully I can steer clear of that and provide some interesting reading at the same time!

  4. Maria says:

    Hey, well done for the touching post – it must’ve taken such courage to write it. My heart goes out to you, I can sympathise. I have anorexia but I have been through brief b/p episodes, so I know vaguely how you feel. I just want you to know that no one here will judge you, nor will they do anything other than support you through this. Well done for making the decision to turn your life around and recover. It may not be the easiest path but it is the one with the best ending. 🙂

    • Thanks for replying and understanding… it was tough to write. But I’m glad I did. To be honest, I’m very inspired by your blog and it helped me realise that blogging can be a healthy outlet rather than furthering an unhealthy relationship with food. I’ve noticed that many people who blog whilst/after recovering from an ED have a history of anorexia rather than bulimia which made it even more scary to post, in a way. But your support means a lot to me and I particularly love the way you phrased that; “It may not be the easiest path but it is the one with the best ending.” You know, I don’t think I ever even thought of it like that 🙂

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